fog
there's something about thinking about that era again.
i don't know how to describe the feeling honestly, maybe like a coming of age tv show or movie. i just think often about the thoughts i had in my head around the time and not understanding this next chapter in my life. it wasn't something prewritten and defined like the last 5 years we've known each other. for the first time, it began writing itself and i wasn't the author.
it just felt freeing and i didn't want to let go of this. i felt excited to wake up in the morning. i had no idea what the day was going to be like, even if it was something as simple as scrolling through our phones together - it was something that felt natural. my shoulders would drop down and i never really had that.
something like walking around your neighborhood just felt like fun i've never had. the breeze always felt nice and it always felt like an adventure trying to find new places to explore. granted you knew all of the places, but it was still new to me. it was still fun to me.
a lot of the times i close my eyes and try to picture myself back in that spot. i'm wearing a tour shirt that's a bit oversized, walmart jeans, and a little tiny pointing hand toy on my finger as we walk around. i can remember everything so clearly, the exact path we went on. the berries i told you you should not eat. and just the walk all the way to the walmart.
walking up and down the aisles and i speedran with the cart trying to find anything that seemed good. i think i landed on powerade and those knockoff cheese puffs for $2. however, i can't remember what you got. based on what i remember about you, it could have been a dr pepper. or, maybe a diet coke. you've drank diet coke recently but i can't remember if you did back then.
a part of the memory stops every time i think about it as i try to piece together what actually happened. this memory feels both real and fake at the same time. i remember the path we took to walk, but maybe we didn't walk straight to the walmart.
we're both 26 now and i can't remember what we were like years ago. i try to picture everything so clearly but it feels like a scattered fog. you look older and younger at the same time. honestly, i can't remember the last time i've seen you.
i think i remember you climbing a telephone pole, but that could have been another day. i'm sorry.